Anthony Ongaro

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Anthony

allow the time that it takes

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There is this constant pressure in life to change how things are so that they’ll be how they can be. Looking back on the last decade of my life, I wouldn’t say I exactly had a plan, but I never went long without a side project or some adventure. I’m not sure if the drive to always have a side-hustle came from my discontent with how things are and a desire to build a different existence, or simply my broad diversity of interests.

Either way, I’ve never felt content just doing one thing. Mastery really was never a consideration for me, at least until recently–I have always been incredibly engaged until the moment the learning curve starts to taper. Once I have a foundational understanding of something, I’m pretty much ready to move on.

These days I find myself thinking more about how a two-pronged needle doesn’t pass through fabric. One hundred shallow wells will produce no water, yet a single deep one is much more likely.

Removing distractions and focusing on our goals is a beautiful thing and it allows us to make some serious progress towards the life we want. But that isn’t to say that it should be rushed–allow the time that it takes. Most things in life could be considered a practice, a daily one at that, one that we simply get better at slowly as time goes on. This is what most paths to mastery look like, slow, steady, intentional practice and honing of craft.

These things don’t have to be rushed, we don’t have to scramble to get to a place where we aren’t already. Perhaps much of contentment comes from appreciating and simply existing where we are while honing our practice for continual improvement. Finding that balance between pushing forward and sitting still.

Somewhere in there, lies the secret to happiness and contentment, that balance between personal growth and achievement, and seeking bliss within our current beings. So instead of rushing forward, perhaps we may allow the time that it takes and enjoy the journey along the way.

 

Wisdom

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I’ve heard that having wisdom is being able to take your own advice. It must be why consultants often get paid so much money, it’s usually much easier to see problems from an outside perspective. Once you’ve been in a project, living with it, breathing it, it all becomes a big bowl of spaghetti.

You can’t tell where one noodle starts and another one ends.

After two years of implementing aspects of physical minimalism into my life, I’m struggling to implement it into my own creative endeavors.

Between YouTube comments, tweets, facebook notifications, emails, and the demands of producing video and written content, I’ve found myself completely overwhelmed. This is despite the fact that I’m so incredibly grateful for the comments and interactions I have through these mediums. Add that on top of managing the business side of things, writing a book, preparing a talk, and eghem.. a new puppy, and things really feel like they’re boiling over.

It’s very easy for me to get sucked into a continuous cycle of small, quick tasks that add up to a full day of work but don’t seem to actually make meaningful progress on much. The way my schedule currently is, I’ve realized that I could spend an entire day on something each day of the week and still come out ahead.

For example:

Monday: Respond to all YouTube comments and outline a new YouTube video and corresponding blog post.
Tuesday: Schedule all Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter posts for the week.
Wednesday: Write 2,000-3,000 words on the book.
Thursday: Film & Edit YouTube Video and create blog post for it.
Friday: Respond to all emails and clear inbox

Truly, the problem is that I worry about all of these things all at the same time. I can’t seem to segment them out in a meaningful way so that I can actually get single tasks done consistently. The world of online entrepreneurship is such a blob of possibility and opportunity.

The work will never be done and the prioritization of what aspects need to be done is what I’ve sort of always found difficult. I know that I can get this by using the same principles that have created space in my physical life, but it’s much easier said than done.

I’ll attempt to be wise and take my own advice here and see where it gets me.

Change What You Can

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There are so many things in life that simply cannot be changed, why not focus on changing the things we can? It’s a simple question, but not necessarily a simple answer. Firstly, we’re not necessarily aware of the things that we can change.

Either because they have slipped into our lives or we simply don’t notice them. Our tolerance builds slowly as small distractions become prevalent in our lives eventually leading to what seems like a normal life.

Despite not noticing, it’s there. The constant smartphone notifications interrupting our day is something we adjust to–but what is it actually doing? We must consider how our brains are adapting to be able to handle these recurring disruptions.

As humans, we were built to notice things that move off in the distance. To catch the small environmental changes for our own survival–it might be a predator in those bushes.

The tech we use full takes advantage of this, in moving, beeping, buzzing, and popping to capture any amount of our attention that it can. And they’re all competing for that small slice of attention.

So, why not take control of the things that we can control? We can turn off our unnecessary notifications.

We can remove the excess from our homes and take back our spaces. We can actively work to do the small things that matter to us every day.

There are many things in life that we simply cannot control, many outcomes that we might not have liked. But we are empowered to change so much of what can influence those results.

Change what you can, and flow with the rest.

After 30 Days

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I’ve heard it said that it takes 21 days to establish an unbreakable habit. I find this to be completely ridiculous. It seems like maintaining a habit gets hardest after that point, after 30 days, when you’ve had a long day and you’re exhausted and just don’t feel like it.

That little voice in your head says, “Ah, come on. You deserve a break, you’re doing great!” is when it’s most important to double down and get it done.

Lifestyle changes, at least significant ones, can take years to fully cement themselves into our daily lives. That shouldn’t discourage us from trying to establish habits, though.

In fact, I find it somewhat encouraging. When we start to think long-term, a slip-up over a single day seems to matter much less. When the timeline is stretched substantially, it becomes a matter of numbers and sheer consistency over time that really makes the difference.

Average speed.

So the question does come up, what are you willing to do for most of your life? If you want to be in good health, are you willing to eat vegetables and go on walks most days of your life until you physically can’t anymore?

No 30-day Beach Body/Insanity workout can accomplish that.

I do think it gets harder after 21, or even 30 days. I’m running into that right now, just like I did last year. I’ve successfully hit my targets and completed my daily tasks for almost the entire month and especially tonight, I’m exhausted.

It might be because we just got a puppy that requires a lot of time and attention, but man am I tired. At the same time, I’m grateful that I now have to take the small chunks of free time available to me much more seriously.

The point is, I’m willing to continue, to keep going and push through this dip to see where my daily habits take me. I know it’s what matters, and I know it’s what will get me where I want to be.

The Rocky Chronicles

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And so begin, the puppy chronicles. We’ve been looking for a dog for a while and we came across this guy yesterday. He’s about four month old Maltipoo, his dad is a Maltese and his mom a Poodle. He was with a family from the time he was about 12 weeks old, but it turned out that the family was too busy to keep him and brought him back to the breeder.

We went to visit him this evening and ended up taking him home with us. It worked out well because the previous family included all of the food and toys that they had bought for him as well. It seems like he was well cared for, but it just didn’t work out.

So, we’re excited. January 27th is the 10-year anniversary of the night Amy and I met, so it’s kind of a fun thing to be getting a dog together on almost this exact date. We’ll be sharing more of his adventures as we learn more about him and see what he’s like. While we were visiting him before taking him home, he was playful when down on the ground and then he’d sit with us very calmly when we picked him up.

We’re really looking forward to training him and getting to know him better in the coming days. He’s a fun little guy and has a lot to learn, as do we. Here’s a picture of him about 10 minutes after we brought him home. We’re off on an adventure!

The Attention Market

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Attention is the new currency.

Publishers, smartphone app creators, and journalists have one goal: to steal as much of your daily attention as they can. In exchange, they get money from companies that advertise on their content or directly sell a product or service. This environment creates a sort of stock market where people buy and sell your attention and attempt to redirect it in a profitable way.

Unlike the stock market, this attention market is completely unregulated.

There are very few rules, if any, that prevent companies from using deeply addictive psychological strategies to keep users coming back. Within that free market, with so many organizations competing for the attention of their users, the sketchiness of the methods to accomplish this seem to rise meteorically.

Every app you install now asks to send you notifications. Why on earth would most apps need to distract you from a conversation you’re having or a book you’re reading? Because they want more of your attention, more frequently.

Niche news sites create content that infuriates half of its audience and provides confirmation bias to the other. This causes both sides to share the post out of both boasting and what I might call the “can you believe this #$@%” share. Which, as discussed previously, wins the attention game and creates more ad revenue for the offending site.

Those sites don’t care who reads them and they certainly don’t care if you agree. They just want numbers and ad revenue and they’re succeeding.